What do you after you've won?

You did it. Now what?

Ever run a race, built something, maybe hosted a big crowd for a holiday?

When you go home after the race, sit down after the last guest has gone or put the final touches on a craft project, how do you feel?

Proud? Post-party? Wondering what’s next?

Working on a project comes with a certain kind of clarity: a goal, a plan, boxes to check.

Once it's done, then what? What do Olympians do when the games end? Some train for next time, I guess, others leave competitive sports and reinvent themselves.

So much uncertainty comes with a new beginning.

Did I make the right choice? How will it turn out? And mostly, how will I do? That’s where it shifts from a thing to do, to being personal.

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New things go to the very root of my glorious OKness and try to jiggle it around, poke holes in it.

I once cried trying to do a new thing at the gym. What if I fall? What if I look stupid? What if I try and discover I can't? How awful.

You know what? I tried anyway. I did as well as I could, brushed away my tears, and kept at it.

There isn't any other way to help myself through except to give myself a mental hug, tell myself I'm here to learn and grow and that no matter how badly I do it, it doesn't say anything about Me. My OKness doesn't depend on success at anything external.

Starting a new crochet project feels the same. What if I count wrong? What if I get all the way to the end of the first row and discover I messed up. I'm going to pull it all out and start again? How bad will that feel?

I want to crochet, though, so I breathe through the feelings and get started. One stitch, one row and then another. Eventually I get the hang of it, it's no longer difficult and then one day I'm done and it's time to start again.

In addition to the completed projects, which we enjoy, it's an exercise in strengthening glorious OKness. So I'll keep at it, through crochet and at the gym, too.

Where do you meet your insecurities and what helps you grow stronger?

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In a few days it will be Yom Kippur, a solemn and beautiful day in the Jewish year.

To all who observe, best wishes for a גמר חתימה טובה and well over the fast